Valentine’s Day Message……2016

Valentine’s Day Message……

The first kind of love we are familiar with is the bio-chemical love, the, ‘Let’s make love.’

The second kind is romantic love, ‘Mary loves John and John loves Mary.’ This second kind of love, the romantic love and the need for love, has a polarity, which is indifference and which sometimes involves jealousy and possessiveness. This kind of love is based on the fact that we don’t yet know who we are. And that the other person involved allows us to meet our true self by turning us on to the place inside our self where we are love. So you say “he and I” or “she and I are in love,” meaning we connect each other to the place in ourselves where we are love. This is needful love, because we need our connection, and if he or she leaves the relationship, we can’t find the place within, the place where we are love. Sometimes we get frightened that we’re going to lose our connection to the other and to love.

The third quality of love or level of love is conscious love, where we have found that place in our self and we become it. And we ‘are’ a statement of that love. And our every action is not consciously designed to assert that we love everyone, and everyone loves us, because we ‘are’ love.

Then, there is no more need for anyone to love us. All we experience is a feeling of present flow with everyone in the universe. We are in love with the universe; we do not actively seek love, but we are ‘in’ love; in fact we exist in the space of conscious love, which is Christ love. That is what whole and sacred love is about.

There’s no neurosis or need in that. For one to become that, we have to give up the stuff inside of us that keeps us from being it. And the major thing is our self-unworthiness. Most of our personality was built upon our unworthiness. Just let it go. Every time something comes up that makes one feel unworthy, or where one feels the need to assert their unworthiness, simply try, try to be right here, open, honest, straight, witness and see everything that happens and use the experience itself in relation to your awakening to God, right here.

And when you walk out into the night, take in the feelings into your body, the lights, the walking on the cement, whatever is around you take it all in, in love. Don’t worship the feelings and don’t run from them. Acknowledge them, allow them, they are all a part of the dance with God. Just play with God, but play in such a way that you get home, don’t play in such a way that you get lost.

Sometimes we get home by remembering; we keep remembering and remembering, again and again we remember. It is good to visit remembering, but don’t live there, instead strive for the balance of remembering and living and caring. Spend your love, your truth, caring, looking up, looking down, spend it by uplifting all of the beings around you at the same time spend it on yourself.

And how do you spend this energy of love on yourself and the beings around you? By feeding those around you, caring about them, walk with them on their path and providing a space for them. By living our lives in a conscious way, in every social role we have and remembering to look up. Because the looking up is what ultimately frees all beings from suffering. Ultimately, we will be able to look at suffering, disease, old age and death and be able to say, ‘Yes, I understand the flow and process and here I am.’ Until we are that clear, that conscious and free, every experience in life is an exercise for getting home.

Conscious Relationships

Sometimes, in the work that I do, I feel we are approaching a period of time when relationships are ready to go through a major redesign. The current paradigm isn’t working. People are unsatisfied in love; people don’t know how to make relationships work.

And, believe it or not, this isn’t a bad thing. Because when systems break-down, that’s when they change. I believe that’s what’s happening in the area of intimate partnership. The break-down is forcing us to move towards conscious love.

So what exactly is a conscious relationship?
It's a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth; individual growth; collective growth as a couple and growth that makes the world a better place.

Up until now, most people get into relationships to satisfy their own personal needs. This might work for a few years, but eventually the relationship fails us, and we end up unsatisfied as a result.

But when two people come together with the intention of growth, the relationship strives towards something much greater than gratification. The partnership becomes a journey of evolution, and the two individuals have an opportunity to expand more than they could alone. Deep satisfaction and long-term fulfillment arise as a result.

So if you’re someone who feels called to take your experience of romantic love to the next level, below are some qualities that characterize what being a conscious couple is all about.

1. The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship - growth comes first.

Not being attached to the outcome of the relationship does not mean we don’t care what happens! It also doesn’t mean that we don’t have fantasies about how the relationship will turn out.

What it means is: we’re more committed to the experience of growth than we are to making the relationship “work.”

The reality is, we’re here to grow; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When growth stops, we automatically feel like something’s gone wrong, and it has; without growth, we aren’t fulfilling our soul’s purpose.

Unfortunately, relationships today tend to stifle growth more than enhance it. This is one of the main reasons we’re failing at romantic love.

We want our partners to act in a certain way, we repress ourselves to please to others, and soon enough, we feel small, oppressed and puzzled about who we’ve become. This, inevitably, makes the relationship feel like a cage that we want to break out of. But the unfortunate truth is: we’ve caged ourselves.

The conscious couple values growth more than anything else because they know this is the secret to keeping the relationship alive. Even though growth is scary (because it takes us into the unknown), the couple is willing to strive towards expansion, even at the risk of out-growing the relationship. Because of this, the relationship maintains a natural feeling of aliveness, and love between the couple does, too.

2. Each person in the relationship is committed to owning their stuff. Conscious couples know that we all have wounds from the past, and they understand that these wounds will inevitably be triggered, especially in a relationship. In other words, they expect to feel abandoned, trapped, rejected, overlooked and a host of other emotions that arises when we bond closely with another person.

Most of us still believe that relationships should only feel good, and when bad feelings surface, something has gone terribly wrong. What we fail to see in this situation is that these negative feelings stem from our own faulty patterning. These issues are not caused by our partners; they’re caused by our beliefs.

The conscious couple is willing to look at their past and current issues in relationships because they know that by facing these beliefs systems, they can evolve into a new relationship-reality. Dysfunctional patterns will dissolve, but only when we take responsibility for them, first.

3. All feelings are welcome and no internal process is condemned.
In a conscious relationship, there’s room to feel anything. Not only that, there’s room to express those feelings and fantasies to your partner. This is edgy territory… it’s not easy to do. But it’s also one of the most healing things we can experience in a partnership.

It’s rare to be completely honest about who we are, and to stretch our self and to let our partner do the same. We may not like what we hear; in fact, it may trigger the heck out of us. But we’re willing to be triggered if it means our partner can be authentic.

We’re used to molding and changing ourselves to please people we love because we don’t want them to stop loving us! This stifles the love out of our connections.

The only option is radical honesty: revealing parts of ourselves that are hard to share, and letting our partners do the same. This leads to feeling known, seen and truly understood — a combination that will automatically enhance love.

4. The relationship is a place to practice love.
Love, ultimately, is a practice of remaining present, a practice of forgiveness, and stretching our heart into vulnerable territories.
Sometimes we treat love like it’s a destination. We want that peak feeling all the time, and when it’s not there, we’re not satisfied with what the relationship has become. In my mind, this is missing the whole point of love.

Love is a journey and an exploration. It’s showing up for all varied nuances of the relationship and asking ourselves, What would love do now?” The answer will be different every time, and because of this, we will grow in ways we never have before.

The conscious couple is fiercely committed to being the essence and embodiment of love for the sake of love; and through this devotion and practice, love shows up in their lives and relationship in ways they would’ve never imagined before.

Welcome to the path of the conscious relationship. Welcome to the next level of Love……. Happy Love Day dear friends.

What is life without LOVE?

What is life without LOVE?

We have been blessed with the beautiful gift of love; love for all things and love can be found in the all that is. Love is the elixir, the sweet nectar of life, and the essence that sustains and endures through all things; always present and supportive. When we are awakened in love we are blessed with the mystery, and wonder of love. There is a vastness, a source of never ending love that seems to flow to you through you and from you, a love that awakens you to see the beauty of life all around you. Love is not something you search for and find, instead it is something you become. When you live this love, you will want to spend the energy of love by allowing it flow from you to all those around you, family, friends, co-workers. You will also find that you will begin to smile from the heart and yes smiling is contagious. Thank you my friends for your Love.

Life’s Lessons and the Gift of Faith

Life’s Lessons and the Gift of Faith

In order to benefit from our conditions and situations, we need to welcome each and every event, situation and change in our life as an opportunity to discover even greater inner strength and wisdom. We need to believe in the wisdom of the universe, which brings us only what is the highest possible good for our happiness and life purpose.

Life gives us, in every moment, exactly what we have created and chosen to experience in our evolutionary process. We benefit greatly when we can remember that and accept the past and present as it is, without bitterness, hurt, fear, anger or guilt. When we do not accept something that has happened or is occurring, we are literally saying "I do not trust in the wisdom, love and justice of the divine or the universe. I believe that a mistake has been made and that I am the victim of injustice (or that I am guilty)."

Life is a mirror

We are also negating another important spiritual truth, which is that we are all responsible for all that happens to us personally. Others cannot create our reality and we cannot create theirs. Our feelings of bitterness, injustice, anger and hate are based on the illusion that others could cause something to happen to us, which we ourselves have not subconsciously created by our previous thoughts, words, actions and choices, or through our "soul choices."

Just as others cannot be the cause of our reality, but only the means; we too cannot be the cause of others realities, but only the means. We are responsible not for what happens to others, but only for our motives and acts, regardless of their effect on others. Others are responsible only for their motives and actions and never for what actually happens to us.

How we create our own realities

In order to welcome each event and situation as an opportunity for growth, we need to understand the forces creating our reality. We have already briefly touched on this in some of my previous posts.

a. The past. Our previous thoughts, actions, choices, feelings and words all have a causal impact on our present reality. This concept is accepted by all religions and spiritual philosophies. Not all believe in reincarnation but all do believe in cause and effect. Our choices to care for ourselves or not, to communicate sincerely and honestly or not, to help and love others or not, to free ourselves from fears or not, all have their effect on our present reality.

b. The present. Our present thoughts, beliefs, expectations, fears, guilt and other emotions and behaviors all create our present reality through the "laws of reflection and attraction." Others and life itself reflect back to us the content of our mind and behavior on all levels. If we reject ourselves, fear or expect rejection, or reject others, we attract rejection. If we think, speak or act antagonistically or egotistically, we attract the same. Basically, we attract whatever we fear, love, desire and hate, as well as what we expect and what we do.

Life wisely mirrors back to us our own thoughts, emotions, beliefs, roles and behaviors, offering us an opportunity to look inward and let go of those aspects of ourselves that are attracting what is unpleasant for us. In such a case, our lesson is to discover what is being reflected and transform it. Otherwise we will continue to attract our present reality.

It is important to understand that the power and opportunity for positive change is in the present and nowhere else. We cannot change the past - but we can change our perception of the past - and thus its effect upon us in the present. We do not know the future, but can form it by our choices in the now moment.

Some people accept negative realities believing that it is some "karma" that they have to suffer. There is no benefit from suffering or being punished if we do not learn something from the experience and if it does not initiate change.

c. Our soul choices. The third factor that determines the nature of the events occurring in our lives is the "soul choices" . When we are passing through difficult times, it may not be because we have made wrong choices in the past, but because we have chosen to learn specific lessons.

d. Our interpretations of what is happening are the fourth factor creating our reality. We create our subjective reality by the way in which we interpret behaviors, situations and events. Unfortunately, most often we do not perceive what is there, but actually perceiving what we have been programmed to believe is there. Our belief system works as a filter that subjectively and selectively interprets whatever is perceived in ways that corroborate what we already believe and ignore what we do not.

For example, if we believe that others will reject us and do not love us, we will interpret their suggestions or other actions as a form of rejection and lack of love even when that is simply not true. We have all been surprised to discover that others have misinterpreted our actions, believing that we had motives and feelings that we never had.

We do the same. We project onto persons and situations motives and dangers that simply are not there. When we do so, we experience fear, pain and bitterness, creating unnecessary unhappiness for ourselves and others.

We also tend to ignore what is there (such as love, caring, goodness and acceptance) when it does not coincide with our belief system. We project our programming and preconceptions onto others and our "reality" in general. Our reality is not what is happening "out there," but what we are creating within ourselves through our interpretations of that.

We have free will

We have the free will to perceive every behavior, situation or event as the perfect opportunity to fine-tune our perceptions of ourselves, others and life. As souls in the evolutionary process, our minds are not yet perfected and we have much we can learn from the realities we are attracting and interpreting. The universe is benign and loving and reflects to us only the experiences that are useful to our growth process. Only through evolution can true and lasting happiness, satisfaction and peace be found.

Every event, every outcome, is an expression of love from the universe giving us an opportunity to use it to realize the truth or not. We have free will. We can use these experiences for their ultimate purpose - discovering greater inner worth, security, freedom and fulfillment. Or we can sink into fear, discouragement, pain, bitterness, resentment, anger, guilt, hate or helplessness. This is our free will. The events have been created by our previous and present thoughts, words, acts in conjunction with the lessons we have chosen personally and collectively to learn at this point in our evolutionary process. But how we use and react to these events and situations is our free choice.

Strengthening our spiritual muscles

Our opportunities for growth and evolution come in doses that may stretch our "spiritual muscles" but not so much that they will damage them, unless we ourselves chose to ignore our inner power. When we want to increase the weight we can lift, there is no sense in lifting the same weights we have been lifting for years. We need to increase the weight, but not so much that we will break our backs trying. In the same way, we "choose" opportunities for growth that test our spiritual muscles, but always in doses that we have the power to deal with. We will never be given a growth opportunity that is beyond our ability to deal with. We, however, have free will to access our inner power or to ignore it and feel weak and thus allow the event or situation to drag us into pain, fear, despair, depression and helplessness. Some of us after suffering or fearing at first, recoup and reconnect to their inner power and others do not. It is our choice.

Trusting in the universe and ourselves

By welcoming and trusting in the wisdom of all that has happened or is happening, we become reconciled with our past and present and let go of resistance, rejection, bitterness, anger and hate, all of which estrange us from life and the one creative power. Believing and trusting in the wisdom of the powers of creation allows us to align ourselves with them and thus manifest our ideal reality.

This attitude of trust and acceptance also enables our feelings of inner power as it indicates that not only do we believe in the justice and wisdom of the universe, but also that we have faith in our own inner power and ability to deal with whatever may come.

In this way, the energy we would ordinarily lose in fearing, resisting, complaining and rejecting what is happening becomes allocated to discovering inner powers and resources that we did not realized that we had, and probably would not have realized, without these opportunities.

Learning through pleasant experiences

Avoid the misconception that we grow and learn only through difficult experiences or tests. We also can learn much by positive and pleasant events. We can learn that we deserve and can attract such positive realities. We do not need to suffer in order to grow spiritually. Welcoming each moment as a growth opportunity also means enjoying and increasing the happiness in our lives. Ultimately it means learning to be happy in all situations, pleasant or not.

May we always have faith and look for the gifts in all of our experiences. Much love and light …..Christina

What We Seek …..We Already Are

What We Seek …..We Already Are

There are many people today who claim to be a seeker. A seeker of what I ask? In my mind, seeking is another way of chasing after something; of looking for our self where we are not. It is an easier task to seek and get money and material things than it is to seek spirituality…..by seeking it….most will never find it. I feel that what defeats the thirst for a higher life is tied up in the act of seeking itself.

Our awareness has its own source in Unity. Instead of seeking outside our self, we need to go directly to the source and realize who we are. Seeking is a word often applied to the spiritual path, and many people are proud to call themselves seekers. Often people continue to seek with an addictive intensity seeking with a new hope to find God, the soul or the higher self. The problem here is that seeking begins with this false assumption; the seeking is doomed because it is a chase that takes one outside of self.

Productive seeking requires that one throw out all assumptions that there is a prize to be won. This means acting without an attachment to the outcome of rising to some ideal self, hoping or wishing that you will get somewhere better than the place you started from.

We are starting from our self, where ever we are in the moment; and it is that self that contains all the answers. So we must give up on the idea that we must go from A to B. In fact there is no linear path when the goal isn’t somewhere else. We must discard any fix judgments about high and low, good and evil, holy and profane.

There is only one reality and this reality contains everything in its tangle of experiences. What we are really trying to find is the experiencer who is present no matter what experience we are having.

Somewhere along the way someone coined the phrase “spiritual materialism” trying to model and transfer the values that work in the material world over to the spiritual world. My feeling is that there are pitfalls associated with this.

Pitfalls of the Seeker:

Knowing where you are going
Struggling to get there
Using someone else’s map
Working to improve your self
Setting a timetable
Waiting for a miracle

There is no better way to be a genuine seeker than to avoid these pitfalls.

Don’t know where you’re going. Spiritual growth is spontaneous. Both the big and small events come along unexpectedly. A single word can open your heart; a single glance can tell you who you really are. Awakening doesn’t happen according to some plan.

Don’t struggle to get there. Does it help a two year old struggle to become three? No because the process of child development unfolds from within. The same is true for spiritual unfolding; it happens just as naturally as childhood development; but on the plane of awareness rather than in the realm of physiology.

Don’t follow someone else’s map. If we follow someone else’s map, we might be training our self in a fixed way of thinking. Fixed ways even those devoted to Spirit are not the same as being free. Try on teachings from all directions, using those that you feel are bringing progress and yet still remain open to changes in yourself.

Don’t make the spiritual path a self-improvement project. Although self-improvement is real and it does help….don’t live there….do your inner work but don’t get stuck in the mire. It takes a strong sense of self to confront the many obstacles and challenges on the path. Expanded awareness comes at a price ---you have to give up your limitations----sometimes your feelings of being victimized as these limitations will slow down the spiritual progress. The wise thing to do is to seek help at the level where the problem exists by confronting the shadow energies within.

Don’t set a timetable. I’ve met many people who give up on spirituality because they felt it wasn’t working for them or it didn’t happen fast enough. The best way to avoid this pitfall is not to set a timetable. Discipline is involved and getting into the spiritual habits of meditation, exercise, reading inspiring books. Allow the process to unfold while giving support to our self in the process of spiritual growth. This support may be in the form of a spiritual teacher, a discussion group, a partner who shares the path with you, regular retreats, and keeping a journal.

Don’t wait for a miracle. It really doesn’t matter how we define a miracle ---whether it is the sudden appearance of a perfect love, a cure for a life threatening disease, a blessing from a great spiritual leader, or permanent and everlasting bliss. A miracle is letting God do all the work. Since there is only one reality our task is to break through boundaries of division and separation. Watching for and waiting for a miracle keeps the boundaries in place. There is no separation, there never was. There is only one Unity of all there is.

Seeking can’t get anyone out of the tangle because everything is tangled up….everything is ONE. The only thing that will ever be pure and pristine is our own awareness of the mystery of it all. As the awareness grows, the opposites, the separation and division begin to calm down and something else emerges….a world we will feel at home in. Awareness offers an alternative beyond the fray. When we meet our self there, we will be able to create anything in existence. The “I AM” contains all that is needed for making a world, even though by itself it consists of nothing but a silent witness. 
……Love and Light Christina

Emotional Intelligence….”EQ” What is it? Why is it important?

Emotional Intelligence….”EQ” What is it? Why is it important?

We are dealing with people’s emotions all the time, and often we are not even aware of this. Maybe it starts with a perky person who hands you your morning coffee in a drive through, or the bubbly receptionist welcoming you to the office. Both of their smiling faces signal their joy to be handing you a latte or forwarding your calls. But how do we recognize their emotions so automatically?

Our general intelligence such as the brain power that fuels logic, puzzles and math problems, has an emotional counterpart, which researchers have named emotional intelligence; often referred to as "EQ". A person’s EQ isn’t necessarily measured with a standardized score, but various models help place us on a general spectrum for such skills as recognizing fear over surprise, or pride over contempt.

Research suggests worldwide stress is increasing. EQ is what helps us avoid the misunderstandings that lead to this anxiety, and we might need it more than ever in these challenging and testing times.

Awareness isn’t enough. It’s not enough to be “intelligent,” we need to use our awareness and intelligence, to put emotional intelligence into action. Our responsibility is our response – ability.

People with high EQ generally find that they have an extra dose of curiosity, which adds to improved responsiveness. An increase in emotional intelligence is correlated with big increases in quality of life, in effectiveness, and in decision-making. The principles are the same as general intelligence, and we may inherit some portion of our EQ from emotionally intelligent parents, but it’s also like a muscle and it is a skill set that can be learned and strengthened.

People with high EQ are self-aware, self-managing, and self-directing. They do more than just engage in introspection or trying to understand how they behave (self-awareness) to change those behaviors in their own lives (self-management). They also adapt to the people they’re interacting with (self-direction). In everyday awareness people with higher EQ are on the same emotional wavelength. As if by magic, they are active listeners, some are even second level listeners and are able to instantly tailor their emotional engagement to their conversation partner. They show up, hold a space and they are always fully engaged in the present moment.

Developing our emotional intelligence helps us to create positive change in our personal lives, helps us to improve the quality of our relationships with others, and these changes will lead to higher levels of emotional intelligence with our families and friends. This higher level of EQ will expand further, creating improved social emotional intelligence in our schools, our communities, countries and I feel increasing EQ on an even wider scale can and will contribute to a deeper understanding between nations improving the world around us. .......love and light Christina